Mass Email Fail

My daily email from the National Law Journal arrived in the inbox this morning with the fabulous subject heading: Is a J.D. worth it? Nothing motivates me better on a Monday morning than fear and a general feeling of futility! Where are the mass emails entitled You can do it! and Debt is but Physical Proof that you Have Eaten from the Tree of Knowledge! Apparently I have signed up on the wrong email lists.

Here's the link to the article, which warns folks thinking about law school to "proceed with caution." More thoughts on the substance of the warnings later (which I actually think are pretty warranted). Now, back to focusing on getting that JD...

The final Finals Mix?

Finals Mix III: A Cry for Help

Help! (The Beatles)

Hard to Concentrate (Red hot chili peppers)

Misery (Soul Asylum)

Why does my heart feel so bad? (Moby)

At my window, sad and lonely (Billy bragg & Wilco)

Heaven knows I'm miserable now (The Smiths)

I'm so tired (The Beatles)

Awake is the new sleep (Ben Lee)

Sad sad situation (Bowling for soup)

Oh so sad (Andrew Bird)

I just don't know what to do with myself (My Best Friend's Wedding)

Save Me (Aimee Mann)

Save Me (Remy Zero)

Save Me (Jude)

Save Me (Dave Matthews)

Save Me (Sister Hazel)

Save Me (Aretha Franklin)

Save Me (Hanson)

Save Me (Jem)

Save Me (Queen)

I'd stop making these, but they're just way more amusing than habeas corpus. Shockingly.

Finals Mix, Part II

The Lonesomeness Sessions

Courtesy of Maura, another sad, sad 3L

These days (Royal Tennebaums)

The ice is getting thinner (Death Cab)

All by myself (Celine Dion)

All is loneliness (Janis joplin)

I'm so lonesome i could cry (Cowboy Junkies)

Nobody wants to be lonely (Ricky Martin)

Crying (Vonda Shepard)

Your heart is an empty room (Death Cab)

Somewhere a clock is ticking (Snow Patrol)

There's never enough time (The Postal Service)

Die alone (Ingrid Michaelson)

Here is the arc, as explained by Maura (That's right: It's a concept album. We obviously both have a LOT of time on our hands... that is not being used to study):

The person is getting up day after day doing the same thing, but the ice keeps getting thinner and they can't stop thinking about how they're by themselves all the time… which makes them angry… and sad… so they start crying. BUT they're so alone in an empty room it doesn't matter. Then they realize they've been spending so much time crying they haven't been working. Then they have a nervous breakdown and die alone

On that note, Happy Hannukah.

Finals Playlist

Titles of songs that get stuck in my head while I am trying to teach myself the abstention doctrine...

Disc 1: The Black Hole

Side A:

Totally Fucked (Spring Awakening)

Tears and Rain (James Blunt)

Death and all his friends (Coldplay)

Several ways to die trying (dashboard confessional)

You might die trying (DMB)

I hate everyone (Get set go)

Killing me Softly (Lauryn Hill)

Crazy (Gnarls Barkley)

Everything Sucks (reel big fish)

All you need is hate (the delgados)

Let's get Fucked up and Die (Motion City soundtrack)

Deathly (Aimee Mann)

Side B: Jackie's Remix

Black Hole (She & Him)

Fiery Crash (Andrew Bird)
Fool on a Hill (The Beatles)
She's Losing It (Belle & Sebastian)
Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying (Belle & Sebastian)
I'm Back (Eminem)
Hard Knocks (Jay-Z)
Fuck You (Lily Allen)
Toxic (Britney Spears)
Work It (Missy Elliot)
This Is Not a Love Song (Nouvelle Vague)
Take Pills (Panda Bear)
I Fall To Pieces (Patsy Cline)
I Can't Take It (Teagan & Sarah)
Shut Up & Let me Go (The Ting Tings)

Disc 2: Supermassive Black Hole

Side A:

Supermassive Black Hole (Muse)

Evil is Alive and Well (Jakob Dylan)

Darkest Things (The Submarines)

I've seen better days (Citizen Cope)

In our Darkest Hour (Phantom Planet)

Fool to Think (DMB)

Losing Hope (Jack Johnson)

Evil (Interpol)

Better off Dead (The Faders)

Live Like You're Dying (Lenka)

Fallin' to Pieces (Rob Thomas)

In the Name of all that's Evil on Earth (Get set go)

Let Me Go (Cake)

Obviously I've been very productive tonight. Curse you, itunes search bar.

Anyone else have suggestions?

I have seen the future and it does not have casebooks

Delinquent again on posting. Apologies. Blame it on what you will - disenchantment with the law, a lack of ridiculous cases, fear of writing about things that are more self-identifying than law school general quips... whatever. Point is, I haven;t written about the law in a while. And today's post isn't going to be about the law. Rather, it's going to be about what I am looking forward to having back in my life once law school is over. The following is just the beginning of what I can look forward to come May (well, really come end of July b/c of that pesky little test called the bar, but really, who stresses about THAT??)

WHAT I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO POST-LAW SCHOOL

1. Nights
2. Weekends
3. Regular hang-out time with non law students (no offense to any of my law student friends, it's just nice to have some diversity in life!)
4. Time to read my blogs and the news and everything Slate has to offer
5. Doing work because it will help someone and not because it will get you a good grade
6. DC, for real this time
7. paycheck instead of loans (let me qualify that... I will still have loans to pay off... oh boy, will I... but at least I will be making some semblance of an income instead of racking up entirely too much in debt to the University. I still maintain that 3rd year should get you a 50% discount. Especially if you're doing a journal...)
8. Sunday Times and Coffee and the entire morning to enjoy it. Preferably on a porch.
9. To be continued...

Cadbury Cream Eggs are my Religion

It's almost the end of 2L year and I've been studying hard and reading way too much yet I often feel like I have not retained much information. I worry that despite the work I put in, I will forget what I learned in law school and have trouble remembering things when I am a practicing attorney (assuming I get through that whole bar exam thing first).

But earlier this Easter Sunday, I was given hope. I realized that I might actually have a chance at becoming a good lawyer.
I got a text from a friend asking for legal advice about a very important, very serious matter and, based on the conversation I've transcribed below, I think you can see that I am clearly on my way to arguing before the Supreme Court. After all, "Cadbury Cream eggs" might not be explicitly mentioned in the Constitution (I mean, neither is privacy! But that's a whole different can of worms) but what type of country IS this, really, if we do not interpret "life, liberty, or property" to include delicious chocolate-covered treats and also, sugar-coated animal-shaped marshmellows? That's what I'm saying.

"Client": In your expert legal opinion, do I have a case against my Jewish friend for eating all my Easter candy?
Me: Is your friend a governmental entity? If you can swing that I can help you argue that his actions violated your free exercise rights!
"Client": Nahh he’s straight up private sector. Damn. Looks like I have to wait for the candy clearances tomorrow.
Me: We could also argue intentional infliction of emotional distress. Or simple stealing or trespassing
"Client": Ohhh yes yes I like that. So much emotional distress! And definitely stealing. But trespassing is tough since he kinda lives with me
Me: Trespass to chattel! Chattel being peeps, obviously
"Client": No way we could swing it as a hate crime?
Me: Might depend on your state law. If you think motivation was to hurt you and not just enjoy candy, might be a case! I think at minimum though you deserve restitution in the form of candy damages - he should replace what he ate
"Client": I've got a better chance of winning the lotto than that happening

Yes, I AM available for hire. Please contact to discuss rates. Discount for "not-yet-technically-admitted-to-the-bar" currently applies!

Do not do anything that requires you to be awake and alert

I got dental surgery this morning and, in my goodie bag on the way out, a prescription for Vicodin. I've never taken this before but I'm very curious about its effects. Especially since I have close to 4 hours of class this afternoon. I googled "Vicodin side effects" and guess what one of the warnings is? "Be careful if you drive or do anything that requires you to be awake and alert."

Umm, hi - that is law school.

I told my (non-law-school) friend that I was worried about taking the drug and then being cold called in class. "Just say "I object!" alot," she suggested. "And then continue to slump over and drool."

Now I am faced with the problem: how does one email one's professor to say "Yes, I will be in class today, but I might not be there there so please don't call on me.... thank you"? Suggestions are appreciated.